Dealing With Change and Asking for Help

I want to be authentic and real in my blog posts, I don’t want to hide any relevant information about my journey or lie about what’s really going on, I want to be honest and open about what I’m going through because I know that some day, someone who’s going through something similar will read this blog post and find comfort in it.

I just moved into a new place, it took me a few weeks to find it, and then a few more weeks to figure out how to make it happen on a tiny budget, while working a day job, coaching a client, and the desire to keep showing up on social media and my blog.

Well, I haven’t figured it out, but the solution kind of forced itself onto me. A couple of weeks ago, in the midst of a panic attack while being at work, I picked up the phone to make an appointment with my physician, the next day I was officially on leave for two weeks. This was two weeks before moving. When I met with my doctor again at the end of that period of time, because I didn’t get a chance to actually rest and my health wasn’t improving, she decided to extend my leave to a full month.

Before all of this happened, I thought I was going to write a blog post about how I flowlessly managed it all at once and came out the other side with a shiny new badge of honour. But today I am making my peace with coming out the other side with another badge than the one I expected.

It was hard for me to hit the brakes and say stop when I was exhausted. And it was hard to ask for help when I couldn’t do anything without triggering major anxiety and panic attacks. In the past, under similar circumstances, I pushed through and sort of rode the storm until things were manageable again. But I think that this time, someone out there wanted me to learn the lesson of asking for help and not making myself a martyr.

I don’t know if I’m going to share any major life advice in this blog, but here’s what I’ve learned so far from hitting the brakes and asking for help: it’s ok. It’s ok to stop, it’s ok to slow down, it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to not accept a situation you are not comfortable in, it’s ok to speak up your mind, it’s ok to express your needs and most importantly, it’s ok to make sure you meet your own needs.

You can ask for help and still be a boss, you can slow down and still show up for your clients, you can take a break, take your time to recover, and still have big dreams and ambition. It’s ok to follow your own path, at your own rhythm. Not your neighbour’s path, not your peers’ timing. Your own.

Change and transitions can be tricky, and no matter how much we prepare ourselves, we can get caught in the fire and get hurt. But by learning to recognise when we need help, we can make things easier for ourselves.

The last big transition I went through was in 2020 when I unexpectedly moved back to Europe after living in Canada for three years. I definitely didn’t know how to ask for help then and got sucked in by depression. I didn’t like that. Come to think of it, I’ve gone through a lot of major life changes without asking for help, and it wasn’t very comfortable.

So moving forward, when I find myself in a difficult transition, when I’m facing a challenge that’s bigger than me, I’ll take a break, look around, and ask myself: How can I make this easier for myself? How can I ask for help in this situation?

Today I am taking the time to take care of myself, my mental health, and my physical health. But I’m also taking the time to reflect and think about my current goals, and adjust them to match this new way of living. How can I be more patient with myself and my goals? How can I enjoy the process of getting there? How can I make sure I always take care of myself first?

I don’t have the answers yet, but I’m working on it, and I’ll make sure to keep on sharing with you whatever I find on the way :)

I hope you take some time for yourself today, take time to breathe, rest, and ask for help if you need to. Take care!