Dealing With Low Self-Esteem and Not Feeling Legitimate as a Business Owner…

There’s one thing I notice coming up often in conversations I have with business owners: the struggle of being happy and feeling legitimate. As business owners, we tend to judge ourselves harshly. Because we wear all the hats to run and grow our businesses, we want everything to be perfect. Because of that, we judge ourselves in a way we wouldn’t imagine judging someone else. Can you picture yourself telling your best friend they’ll deserve to take a break only once they’ve hit their first 10K month? I don’t think so.

Recently, during a coaching session with a client, I noticed how hard they were on themselves. They weren’t able to recognize how far they’d come. They were judging themselves harshly and thought they weren’t doing enough. Even after spending years building their business, learning new skills, and growing a solid client base, they weren't able to recognize how successful they were.

This made me reflect on my own stuff. I too, if I let myself get sucked into hustle culture, will think I’m not doing enough, not working enough, should be more successful... Blah, blah, blah... A part of me (hello anxiety) wants me to think this, but I know better. Here’s the big take on this post:

You don’t need to be anywhere but where you are today to be proud of yourself. Notice how far you’ve come and recognize that success is already here.

“When I make my first 5 figure month then I can relax, when I hit 50K followers then I’ll feel legitimate, when I get to quit my day job then I’ll be a true entrepreneur”.... you know the song, it’s playing in your head too. You also know that even when you get there, you won’t magically feel fulfilled, accomplished, or proud of yourself. When you get there, you'll want to go further, you'll set the bar higher, and the bar will always be a mystical place right above your head, and never in your hands.

So what can we do today to be happy while we’re growing our businesses? Here are my tips and tricks:

Self-love

Having low self-esteem and not feeling legitimate puts you at risk of pouring negative energy into your offer and keeps you from giving it the life and success it deserves. Do yourself a favor and learn to love and accept yourself and your business’ journey, so you can love the product or service you provide, and be happy selling it. Selling something you’re not proud of or don’t feel legitimate to offer is hard. You’ll run into resistance and you might even sabotage your business by not providing the best service and/or not charging enough for your offer.

If you want your business to be successful you need unwavering faith in your offer, sell it from your heart, be happy to share it with the world, and set the right price for it with no shame holding you back. 

Don’t compare yourself to others

I try to not compare myself to others’ successes and stories. If I start looking around to compare my business to someone who started, 1, 2, or 5 years before me, I’m done for. So I don’t compare myself to others. I accept that I have my own journey, with its ups and downs, and that this journey, as imperfect as it may be, is the one leading me where I want to be.

Don’t look at what others are doing, you don’t know their full story. You don’t know all the work they put in to get where they are today. You don’t know the blocks they had to remove. It’s not fair to you to measure your story to theirs. 

What you can do though, is look at where YOU were 1, 2, or 5 years ago and notice how far you’ve come. Take a minute to reflect on your journey. What events, circumstances, and life lessons lead you to where you are today? What have you learned that you can share with others? Have you not reached a point where you can be proud of how far you’ve come? I’m sure you have.

Self-talk

How do you talk to yourself? Do you encourage yourself every day? Or do you point out your imperfections and spend the day beating yourself up?

The way you talk to yourself plays a big role in your self-esteem and can help you build a successful business. If you always notice the things you didn’t get done on time but fail to see that this week you made sales and attracted new clients, you will sabotage yourself and your business.

Focus on what you’re doing right, pay attention to the victories, no matter how small, and always celebrate them! Whenever I have a win for my business, I stop for a moment and allow myself to feel the joy it brings me. I am doing it as I am writing this post, congratulating myself for showing up feels much better than beating myself up because I’m late in my publishing schedule!

Be happy today

I talked about this on the blog before, I’ve wasted a lot of time thinking: “I’ll be happy when”, until I realized that I have to be happy today if I want to ever be happy.

I constantly remind myself that there is no finish line and that if I don’t feel good today, I'm taking a risk of never being happy. I can’t keep on waiting for the next breakthrough to be happy. If I let myself, every time I hit a milestone, I move on to the next one without stopping to enjoy the view and celebrate. That's a mistake.

Today I am happy I started my business and this blog. I feel good when I sit behind my laptop to write a blog post, and I am proud of myself for showing up every day for the future.

Don’t wait to be at the finish line to be proud of yourself, there is no finish line. If you keep pushing off the day you’ll be happy, you’re taking a big risk of never being happy. Don’t postpone celebration and happiness. Joy is in the small wins and details of everyday life. You are doing enough today!

The way you feel influences and creates your life. If you get into the habit of telling yourself every day that you’re awesome and your success is inevitable, you are considerably raising your chances of growing a successful and lasting business, or at least you’ll feel awesome while trying!

I hope these tips can help you grow your business with feelings of joy and love. Of course, we all have days when it’s hard to show up and keep going, but the more confidence you have in yourself, the easier it’ll be to go through the rough days knowing that this too shall pass. The way you feel about your business is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

There are many opportunities to heal ourselves and grow in the journey of entrepreneurship. Like I said in a previous blog, entrepreneurship is one of the fastest roads to knowing yourself. It holds a mirror to you and shows you which part of yourself you need to heal and where you need to grow to be successful. But don’t forget, real success is to be happy today and appreciate the present moment!